http://www.wiseolderwomen.com

 

Table of Contents
Welcome
Women’s Wisdom
Topic for September - Stress
WOW! Forum
WOW! to WOW!
Upcoming Events
Web Sites of Interest
Closing Notes

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WELCOME!

Greetings to all wild outrageous women. If you don’t feel wild or outrageous today, that’s okay. We greet you, anyway, and also our new subscribers. Because many of you forward or tell your friends about our newsletter and our website (www.wiseolderwomen.com ), we have new members each month. We appreciate every single one.

Summer is unofficially over and I, for one, am celebrating fall with the hope of some cooler weather. That’s easy today. In San Antonio, my new city, it’s cool, cloudy and rainy. If you can’t celebrate the weather where you live—just celebrate being alive. There’s someone near or dear who is not with us this month.

The new quantum physics says that we get more of what we give our attention to, so let’s focus on all the good in our lives. Here’s one to consider. Just heard about a book by Michelle Rapkin, titled, Any Day with Hair is a Good Day. Some of us really get that—we are there. The rest of us understand because a friend or loved one is there. So, even on bad hair days, let’s celebrate.

Oh, and friends, blessed friends! That’s one of the great things about this newsletter for, by and about women in the second half of life: we find new friends. They share their truth, we share ours and together we relax into our authentic selves, laughing with abandon, amusing ourselves about the pluses and minuses of this time of life.

Let’s make this month one to Celebrate Being a Wise Older Women!

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 WOMEN'S WISDOM

“When the soil of the self is exhausted, no beautiful flowers can grow from it. . . . .The key is taking care of yourself. That’s the ultimate accomplishment. Because it makes everything else you can accomplish possible.”

Mira Kirshenbaum
The Gift of a Year

 

Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?

Mary Oliver

 

Indeed, it is by choice, not chance, that our destiny unfolds.

Linda Watson

 

Every decision you make indicates what you believe you are worth.

A Course In Miracles

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TOPIC FOR SEPTEMBER - STRESS

I am moved, (big sigh of relief), and even though I’m not completely settled, I feel more settled than I have for a long time. This past year has been difficult—over the top stressful. I googled that and found an easy interactive test to determine one’s level of stress at: http://www.stress-management.net/stress-test.htm . According to their statistical prediction model, a score of 150 or less means a relatively low (about 30%) probability of stress-related illness (including heart attack, cancer, stroke, etc). A score of 151 to 299 implies a 50% probability and a score of 300 or above implies an 80% probability of experiencing a health change. My stress factors included: separation; move into a motor home; broken foot (twice); move into retirement community with no steps; substitute teaching throughout Tarrant county (Difficult at best, dangerous at worst.); divorce; move to San Antonio; sale of motor home; finding and moving into a condo; more neck and back issues; and saddest of all, the sudden death of my ex-husband. My score was 402.

The experts say that the first step toward change is acknowledging one’s reality. Okay, here’s the truth. I’m stressed. It’s been building for a long time. I need time to catch up, heal and recharge. I need lots of laughter and regular comfort from my friends. I need to burrow into the velvet-covered peacefulness of my bed and just lie fallow for awhile.

Oh, does that sound delightful. . .but! Do you know that “but” and what comes after it? It’s the but, immediately followed by, I can’t do that because______ (fill in the blank).

My stress is high enough I need to consider my “yes, buts.” The perfect book to help me figure out why I think I can’t do what I know I need to do dropped into my lap. As I traveled with a friend recently, I ran out of anything to read. She gave me her bag of books to look through and I found The Gift of a Year by Mira Kirshenbaum. The book not only helps me figure out what to do, but also gives me permission to “say no to everything else” for a whole year. Permission, however, is not the only thing I need.

What I need to do—catch up, heal, recharge—is perfectly reasonable, but I know myself. I’ll put it on the back-burner. I’ll try to sneak it in after everyone and everything else is managed. I also know that doesn’t work. What does work is having the courage to think NO before I get myself involved or say yes to a request. I deserve to rejuice.

In our July newsletter, we considered being vs. doing. Many of us, (include me), have gotten most, if not all, of our self-esteem from doing. I’ve been a human-doing, not a human-being. If I quit doing, how do I manage to feel okay? It’s not backbone I need to make the changes, it’s feeling worthy of taking this time for me. Where do I get that?

Two questions Ms. Kirshenbaum asks help:

Was your mother basically miserable?
Do you wish your mother had sacrificed a little less and done a little more to be happy?

Because of my score on the stress scale, I add another question:

If your mother knew she might avoid a major illness or accident by giving herself the gift of a year to move up on the happiness scale, would you want her to do it?

Substitute the word friend/spouse. The name of anyone you care about will work. It is so clear. We want those we care about to be happy. We are wise enough to know we can’t do it for them. We can help, but no one can make someone else happy. We want those we love to figure out what is needed and do whatever it is before they get a scary diagnosis or are in a bad accident. Logic tells us they want the same for us. So, let’s help our friends. If you’ve managed to make changes that helped you get your groove back, share your wisdom. If you have tried, but fallen into the old patterns, tell us what happened. Sharing your experience, your wisdom, helps—all of us.

The question: How do we find the courage to do what we know we need to do to take care of ourselves? Send in your ideas.

 

 

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WOW FORUM

From Margarita Zamora:
Thank you for the Newsletter. I would love to go cruise with you but I am
working at that time. Have Fun!

(I’ll look forward to you joining us the year you retire from teaching. We just can’t risk the potential hurricanes of summer time.)

From Jena Roberson:
There is a scam on email that I think everyone should know about and let everyone you know, know about it. I have seen no warning on this so I am taking it into my own hands.
I got an email the other day, supposedly from Wells Fargo, every thing looked okay, logo etc. email etc. but it told me there was a problem with my account and I should email them ASAP with information about my account. It scared me and I started to do it and then I thought, “Wait, if I put this information in an email, ANYONE can get it.” So I sent an email to customer service at Wells Fargo and asked them if there was a problem with my account. And they advised me it was a scam and told me if they ever wanted any information they would sent a letter. They said to delete it and then thanked me for letting them know. Just this morning, my son called and said they had received the same email looking all official and asking for information on their account. He called the bank and they told him the same thing they told me.

From Ramona John:

DOWNSIZING ..

We sipped chocolate sodas, and he walked me home on a soft spring night. Only first love, innocent and sweet, can be so tender. But we were too young, and I had to let go.

I watched as pain and weariness drained her life, she who had always been there, loving me, protecting me, until at last cancer won, and I had to let go of my mother.

The years took their toll, and the work that gave my life purpose was beyond what energy I had left. I was too tired and could simply keep up no longer. I had to let go.

Now I am old, and must downsize, keep only what I need to live. Still, I hold back Grandmother’s bowl, a music box that says my memory of Capri was real and little else.

Kids and missions carry off the rest. You think it is hard to see it all disappear? I don’t even cry. I am a veteran, and I have let go of far more important things.

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WOW TO WOW

From Jean Rosenbaum:
Warning: A REALLY BAD VIRUS!
Below is the Snope's site where you can verify the authenticity of this virus
I have been receiving MANY notices claiming "that a friend/partner/family/classmate has sent me a greeting."
It looks like those you get from Hallmark and American Greetings.
I have not clicked on any of the links and now I'm glad.
Please don't open any "greeting card" e-mails. I verified this at
http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/postcard.asp  (last update 1 July 2007)

(Nancy’s Note: These are not the only dangerous emails. Never open anything unless someone you know identified it and you’re sure they sent it)

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UPCOMING EVENTS

WOW! Cruise, February, 2008

Join us on NCL’s Spirit February 24, 2008 for a week of fun and  sun!

February 24, 2008, depart New Orleans at 5:30 pm
February 25, 2008 At Sea
February 26, 2008 Costa Maya 8:00 am 6:00 pm
February 27, 2008 Santo Tomas de Castilla 8:00 am 6:00 pm
February 28, 2008 Belize City, Belize 8:00 am 6:00 pm
February 29, 2008 Cozumel 8:00 am 5:00 pm
March 1, 2008 At Sea
March 2, 2008 arrive New Orleans 8:00 am
 

Hurry! Space is very limited, don’t miss the boat!
Call us today to reserve your cabin, 1-800-953-7469
Interior cabin only $547 per person*
Ocean view cabin only $703 per person*
Hold your cabin for as little as $25 per person along with name, date of birth, address, home phone number and emergency contact person information.
Remainder of Deposit: $225 per person, Due October 20, 2007
Final Payment Due: December 4, 2007
*All rates are per person based on availability and double occupancy and include cruise, all port charges and government taxes, all shipboard meals and entertainment.

(Want to check out the Norwegian Spirit? Click on www.cruisecritic.com  then Ship Reviews .. and enjoy!)

PLEASE NOTE:
Everyone will be required to have a valid passport to travel in 2008.

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WEB SITES OF INTEREST

WOW! Wise Older Women! website: Subscribe to this newsletter and view archives of previous ones: http://www.wiseolderwomen.com 

From Gather the Women:   http://www.gatherthewomen.org .

From Kate Emery: http://www.CareCircle.net , a free online community offering you a way to connect with other like-minded people who care about a global or local issue

From wordsofwomen.org:

An International History Project and Essay Competition
A Project of Historic Proportions
Capturing Forever the Words of Women

Words of Women, since 2000, is an international effort to chronicle the important events in the lives of women and to tell the stories of the Most Influential Women in Our Lives for the next 100 years. Essays gathered annually from around the world, written by women and girls, will record what we considered important. Words of Women is an opportunity for all women to have a voice and to ensure that history is recorded from our point of view.

We invite you to participate in this year's world wide Words of Women Essay event by writing an essay of your own and by sharing this information with a friend or two, or 3, or 4, or more. *
You can be the winner of the 2008 Words of Women Essay of the Year

Information and Guidelines are below and you can check for further details at
www.wordsofwomen.org 


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CLOSING NOTES

Enjoy this newsletter? Want to change the paradigm for women in the second half of life to one that values our wisdom? Our authenticity? Our integrity? Forward this month's newsletter to all WOW! Wise Older Women! friends.

It’s easy to start a WOW! Circle in your area. Email nancy@wiseolderwomen.com .

Your creative efforts, astute comments, lavish praise and short criticisms are encouraged and appreciated. Send them to nancy@wiseolderwomen.com

Copyright© 2007, all rights reserved. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute this newsletter as long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author are attached.

The author of this newsletter is Nancy Garland, M.Ed., LPC. She is a writer, coach and facilitator for women in the second half of life, individually and in groups. She also plans workshops, retreats, and travel events for WOW! Wise Older Women!