Table of Contents
Welcome
Women’s Wisdom
Topic for October
WOW! Forum
WOW! to WOW!
Upcoming Events
Web Sites of Interest
Closing Notes
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Welcome:
Fall is in the air. Even though it is in the high 80’s
in San Antonio, the nights are cooling off which makes the
mornings delightful. I hope it’s wonderful in your part of
the world also.
What a newsletter we have for you this month—thanks to women
who share with us. What a privilege it is to have their
input. I hope Ramona John’s creative writing entitled
Past means as much to you as it does to me.
We have
the most authentic women who write to us. Jo Duval,
Jena Roberson, Shirley Haight and Daurice Ring
responded to last month’s column in WOW! Forum. Pat
Gordon, Pam Silva, Janice Holloway, Eleanor Wandke
and Len Wheeler sent fun, important information and
big laughs. Check it all out in WOW! to WOW!
TIME
IS RUNNING OUT, but it's not too late to join us for our
SPRING CRUISE!!.
The
deadline for reservations is October 22, 2007. Full
details are found later in this newsletter.
Since we are
leaving from New Orleans, several have mentioned we should
have some time there before we board the ship. We'll work on
reasonably priced accommodations for the two nights before
we depart. It's not mandatory, of course, but if you would
like to see some of New Orleans with a fun group, plan to
join us. Remember it's not too late
to sign up. But, it will be after October 22nd!!
We’re delighted that a new WOW! Circle is forming in
the Richardson, Sachse, Garland, Wylie area. Check
the website for details.
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Women’s Wisdom
“Keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll keep getting
what you’re getting.”
Bumper sticker
“You can’t feel your life belongs to you unless you feel the
expectations you have about yourself come from you.”
Mira Kirshenbaum
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Topic
for October:
Change Takes Courage
This
question ended last month’s newsletter: How do we find the
courage to do what we know we need to do to take care of
ourselves?
“Courage? That’s not it,” some tell me, “It’s deciding what
needs to happen differently. That’s the hard part.”
“If I knew what to do,” they said, “I’d sure have the
courage, the guts, to do it. But I’ve taken care of others
for so long, I hardly know what takes care of me.”
“One woman told me, “I take care of work first and with any
energy I have left, I take care of my grandchildren—just
like I used to take care of my children. Putting myself last
is such a habit I don’t think I can change.”
Some don’t want or need to change. Some have love, joy and
contentment doing exactly what they are doing—and they feel
grateful. My guess is they’ve been taking care of themselves
all along. Some could stand a little more of the good stuff
of life, but it’s not worth the effort or the energy to rock
the boat. Another good position—they know what best takes
care of them.
Some of us, me included, feel differently. We need to make changes. We need to find
the courage to make these changes in the hopes that our
stress moves down to a manageable amount. We understand that
continuing at this level of stress puts us at risk for an
illness or accident. For us, change is going to happen. The
question is: Shall we wait for the train wreck? Or do we
make changes to stop the train before it wrecks?
Remember those movies with the “good guy” running over the
tops of moving train cars trying to get in a position to
keep the train from crashing? The guy looks like he’s
risking life and limb. Trying to make a change may not be
quite that scary, but it feels like it sometimes.
Getting older develops bravery in some of us. Not me. I
still want to avoid trouble and conflict—especially with
close friends and family. I am brave in some ways, but I
shake in my boots when I think of telling someone I care
about that I disagree or that my feelings are hurt or that
something they decided won’t work for me.
However, I am committed to lowering my stress level and my
intuition tells me this is the way. Without accountability,
a commitment is easily forgotten. So I told you—all of you.
I should have known to get ready. Opportunities to change
were bound to show up. I just didn't expect so many, so
fast. My boots are worn
out from all the shaking in them. Change does take guts.
The most traumatic opportunity concerned two of my beloved cousins
who make decisions that affected me without mentioning them.
I spoke my truth to them calmly, even though I wasn't calm,
I wanted to be, but directly. One cousin
listened, but the other took actions that spelled a-n-g-r-y
to me. To say I was shaking is putting it mildly, but I
continued, determined to change my pattern.
So far, I’ve learned three things:
1) Action—doing it differently—is critical. Just thinking
about it won’t make anything better. No passes till next
time.
2)
Assumptions are deadly. Don’t climb on a “pity pot” by
deciding to “be there” for someone without checking to see
if it’s wanted, needed or appreciated.
3)
Accept whatever happens without judgment of yourself or
others. Taking a different position will bring information.
If it’s the wrong way, turn around. Anything’s better than
standing in the same stressful spot.
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Happy
Halloween!!
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WOW! Forum:
From Ramona John:
THE PAST
What once was, was. Ah, don’t you see?
That’s the comfort and the curse left to you and me.
Memories are among the rich legacies of our past. The joy of
love we knew softens us and makes us human. The imprint of
grief opens our hearts to understanding. The satisfaction of
realizing our dreams, gives us faith in the future. We are
in large measure what our past has programmed us to be.
The comfort of the past is memories.
I remember the joy of school letting out for the summer and
rushing home to go on a picnic with Mom and Dad. I can still
taste the fried chicken and chocolate cake. I remember
school carnivals and dressing like a ballerina at Halloween,
and waking up on Christmas mornings to brightly wrapped
packages. I remember childhood... when all of my world was
beautiful and bright and filled with love.
I remember, sitting with my first boyfriend in the porch
swing on a summer night, when kisses were new and innocent
and sweet. I remember true love coming later, when I least
expected, and the man I ached to be with forever saying,
“Marry me.”
I remember, after years of following the difficult path to
the dream, pride swelling within me when I raised my hand
and took my oath as an attorney. I remember my first case
and my last, and the quiet satisfaction of believing that I
had done my job well and the lives of those I had served
were better for my having been there.
I remember Paris ablaze with lights as night came and I
sailed down the Seine, sipping champagne. And gazing in awe
at the Parthenon on that lonely hill in Athens, thinking,
“That’s it. That’s the real thing.” And trading with Berbers
in the Atlas Mountains of Morocco, relishing the slight
feeling of danger. And experiencing the magnetic pull of the
Matterhorn as I looked upward from the valley below. And
staring at the Phoenix in Cairo, chilled by its mystery.
Now as I sit in my chair, no longer able to go running
around the world, dancing with gypsies or bargaining with a
merchant in Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar, the coldness of age is
warmed by all of those memories. They are mine, and I hold
them close.
But memories are not only the comfort given us by the past;
they are its curse.
On the day my mother died, I knew nothing in my life would
ever be the same. Helplessness and panic and despair flooded
over me, and when I remember that awful day, the same
feelings return.
The memory of 9/11 will never leave me. I wept for us all,
realizing our lives were changed forever, and there could be
no going back. If the world we once took for granted ever
really existed, it was no more, and future generations would
inherit a far less safe and happy planet.
Memories I can not escape haunt me, moments I regret. I
remember affairs that should never have been and the pain
they brought. I came to understand that nothing could undo
what had been done.
Times I should have been brave or kind or loving and was not
linger in my heart. Words I said and never tried to take
back and words I failed to say live on with the silence that
followed them. Such memories are the curse of the past that
we acknowledge and live with, because they are part of us.
Another legacy of the past is perspective, born of time
passing and the changes it brings within you and throughout
the world around you. Perspective tells you what really
matters and what is merely excess baggage.
Understanding what was once beyond understanding becomes
easier when years intervene and perspective appears.
Forgetting becomes possible when pain lessens and life moves
on. Time works its magic. It allows you to finally become
yourself and to live the necessary days and months and years
with that self to realize who you are. In that knowledge,
lies peace.
Perspective allows the development of empathy.
Only when I have wept for the loss of someone I loved can I
more fully share your grief over the loss of one you loved.
Only when I have agonized over the decision to euthanize a
beloved pet, can I more fully understand your pain if you
must decide to do the same thing.
Only when love has set my own heart aflame can I more fully
celebrate your joy at finding your life-long love. Only
because I have made mistakes of my own can I more quickly
set aside your mistakes. The young do not forgive easily.
The past is the text book, Ah, don’t you see?
That’s the road that leads us to what can be.
The past brings lessons for living more richly today. And
among the past’s great lessons is that one must not live
there, for it exists only in memory. I can cherish and learn
from the past, but then I must move on, for today is where
my life is. Today is all I have, and I must meet it head on
and live it.
From Jena Roberson:
Was so happy to get WOW newsletter today and find out
what has been going on with you. Some if it I knew but some
of it I didn't. And I am glad you shared all the things that
have happened to you this year, for now I know I wasn't the
only person in this whole world that had a really, really
bad year!!!! That is why it's so good sharing with each
other. Now I don't feel so bad about all the problems I had,
although most of mine were health wise, while only some of
yours were. But regardless, whatever gets us down is bad.
I am so grateful to be feeling good now. The heart
specialist wants me to have this work done on my aorta now
while I am feeling so good, but you know, I don't want to!
He assures me I feel even better if I do, but I figure why
jinx what I have now? I just hate the thought of more
surgery. But we will see.
Even though you were divorced, I know it was a blow to you
for you ex to die. I am truly sorry.
I hope everything smooths out for you now and you make
yourself take the time you need to repair, heal and get your
mo-jo back. I truly believe "someone" had to knock me to my
knees to get me to take the time I needed for those things.
And I think this person did the same thing to you, so
listen. Listen to your body, it will tell you what you need,
yes, NEED to do.
From Jo Duval:
You are so ambitious! Learning Spanish in San Antonio
has its rewards. I studied French before going to France
some years ago...Not too difficult to get the common phrases
since I had taken two years of French in college. I danced
line-dances in Denver City before moving from there in '97.
I loved it. It was the most wonderful kind of exercise. I
know you'll love Yoga too. You're a very thoughtful kind of
person and know how to focus your concentration on one
thing.
I still paint a portrait every Monday at the art center
here. We have live models come in and there are about ten
regulars plus some stragglers who come to paint. I'm
scheduled to conduct a workshop in October... just one day.
It's way too hard to teach every day. I loved it, but was so
worn out from doing a demo every morning that I never wanted
to paint again. Of course I got over that later. People come
in on Mondays just to watch. I like that, since I go into
the "zone" and am not aware of what's going on around me.
From Daurice Ring:
I love the WOW! news letter as usual. I miss you and
your GREAT energy but know you are where spirit wants you to
be.
From Shirley Haight:
Just finished re-reading the WOW! Newsletter, so glad I
did.
I need a year away. Can you help me find a place to go?
That's what I want to do, go away for one year. Is there a
convent I can join, guess I could smoke some pot and get
away a year? I want Chuck to go too, though, and I could
never get that ole staid Republican to smoke pot!! We could
rob a bank, he wouldn't mind that.
Or I could begin ranting and raving as if I've lost my mind
(I'm not sure I haven't) and wind up in Terrell (state
hospital) or perhaps a step up, to Timberlawn (private
hospital).
I don't really want to go to hospital or jail, but I would
love an ashram or Convent, then again would Chuck go? Who
knows.
The past two weeks have been hard on my ole body, one more
treatment and I'm finished with external radiation--hooray.
People told me it was going to be a piece of cake. Well, if
I can put the three P's (pooping, puking or pooting) aside
and forget about the zero energy, it was.
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WOW! to WOW!
From Pat Gordon:
The
Bathing Suit
When I was a child in the 1960s the bathing suit for the
mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much
sewn as engineered.
They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good
job.
Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent
girl with a figure carved from a potato chip.
The mature woman has a choice-she can either go up front to
the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a
skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped
from
Disney's Fantasia or she can wander around every run of the
mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from
what amounts to a designer range of florescent rubber bands.
What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible
choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the
fitting room.
The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile
strength of the stretch material.
The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe,
by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which give
the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever
yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks as
any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would
immediately suffer whiplash.
I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the
shoulder strap in place, I gasped in horror my boobs had
disappeared!
Eventually, I found one boob cowering under my left armpit.
It took a while to find the other. At last I located it
flattened beside my seventh rib..
The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups.
The mature woman is meant to wear her boobs spread across
her
chest like a speed bump.
I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to
take a full view assessment.
The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only
fit those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of
me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom, and sides. I
looked like a lump
of play dough wearing undersized cling wrap.
As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come
from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through
the curtain, "Oh, there you are", she said, admiring the
bathing suit.
I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had
to show me.
I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a
lump of masking tape, and a floral two piece which gave the
appearance of an oversized napkin in a serving ring.
I struggled into a pair of leopard skin bathers with ragged
frills and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane, pregnant
with triplets and having a rough day.
I tried on a black number with a midriff and looked like a
jellyfish in mourning.
I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I
thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them.
Finally, I found a suit that fit...a two-piece affair with a
shorts style bottom and a loose blouse-type top.
It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought
it.
My ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured.
When I got home, I found a label which read -- "Material
might become transparent in water."
So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body
of water this year and I'm there too ... I'll be the one in
cut off jeans and a t-shirt!
From Pam Silva:
We all carry our mobile phones with names & numbers
stored in its memory but nobody, other than ourselves, knows
which of these numbers belong to our closest family or
friends.
If we were to be involved in an accident or were taken ill,
the people attending us would have our mobile phone but
wouldn't know who to call. There may be hundreds of numbers
stored but which one is the contact person in case of an
emergency? Hence this " ICE" (In Case of Emergency)
Campaign.
The concept of "ICE" is catching on quickly. It is a method
of contact during emergency situations. As cell phones are
carried by the majority of the population, all you need to
do is store the number of a contact person or persons who
should be contacted during emergency under the name "ICE" (
In Case Of Emergency).
The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when
he went to the scenes of accidents, there were always mobile
phones with patients, but they didn't know which number to
call. He therefore thought that it would be a good idea if
there was a nationally recognized name for this purpose. In
an emergency situation, Emergency Service personnel and
hospital Staff would be able to quickly contact the right
person by simply dialing the
number you have stored as "ICE".
(Nancy’s Note: If you haven’t already added this from the
first time it appeared here, do it now!)
From Janice Holloway:
My Next Life
I want to live my next life backwards!
You start out dead and get that out of the way right off the
bat.
Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every
day.
When you are kicked out of the home for being too healthy,
you spend several years enjoying your retirement and
collecting benefit checks.
When you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day until
pretty soon you're too young to work.
So then, you go to high school: play sports, date, drink,
and party.
As you get even younger, you become a kid again.
You go to elementary school, play, and have no
responsibilities.
In a few years, you become a baby and everyone runs
themselves ragged keeping you happy.
You spend your last nine months floating peacefully in
luxury, spa-like conditions: central heating, room service
on tap.
Until finally... you finish off as an orgasm.
From Eleanor Wandke and Len Wheeler:
Old Age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for
the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted
to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the
wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I
am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror
(who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those
things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life,
my
loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've
aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of
myself. I've become my own friend I don't chide myself for
eating that extra piece of pizza, or for not making my bed,
or for buying that silly wooden statuette that I didn't
need, but looks so avante garde on my shelf. I am entitled
to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too
many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they
understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the
computer
until 4 AM and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the
60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a
lost love ... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over
an
aging body despite the jet setters. They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of
life
is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the
important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your
heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child
suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets put to
sleep? But broken hearts are what give us strength and
understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is
pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of
belonging to the reality of life..
I am so very lucky to have lived long enough to have my hair
turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever
etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never
laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn
silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less
about what other people think. I don't question myself
anymore. I've
even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to think seriously about it, I like being old. It has
set me
free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to
live
forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time
lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will
be. I work hard because I love it and I work at what I love.
(Nancy’s Note: You’ve seen this before, but it’s worth a
second, or third read.)
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"PERKS
OF BEING OVER 50:"
1.
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released
first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, " Did I wake you ?
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as challenges.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who
walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning
to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the
national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they
can't remember them either.
18 Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable
size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list .
And you notice these are all in Big Print for your
convenience.
Forward this to every one you can remember.
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UPCOMING EVENTS:
WOW! Cruise, February, 2008
LAST CALL!!
Reservations will
close after October 22nd!!
Join us on NCL’s Spirit February 24, 2008 for a week of fun
and sun!
February 24, 2008, depart New Orleans at 5:30 pm
February 25, 2008 At Sea
February 26, 2008 Costa Maya 8:00 am 6:00 pm
February 27, 2008 Santo Tomas de Castilla 8:00 am 6:00 pm
February 28, 2008 Belize City, Belize 8:00 am 6:00 pm
February 29, 2008 Cozumel 8:00 am 5:00 pm
March 1, 2008 At Sea
March 2, 2008 arrive New Orleans 8:00 am
Hurry! Space is very limited, don’t miss the boat!
Call us today to reserve your cabin, 1-800-953-7469
Interior cabin only $547 per person*
Ocean view cabin only $703 per person*
Hold your cabin for as little as $25 per person along with
name, date of birth, address, home phone number and
emergency contact person information.
Remainder of Deposit: $225 per person, Due October 20, 2007
Final Payment Due: December 4, 2007
*All rates are per person based on availability and double
occupancy and include cruise, all port charges and
government taxes, all shipboard meals and entertainment.
(Want to check out the
Norwegian Spirit? Click on
www.cruisecritic.com
then Ship Reviews .. and
enjoy!)
PLEASE NOTE:
Everyone will be required to have a valid passport to travel
in 2008.
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WEB SITES
OF INTEREST:
WOW! Wise Older Women! website: Subscribe to this
newsletter and view archives of previous ones:
http://www.wiseolderwomen.com
Family health history can help save lives. For more
information, go to
www.hhs.gov/familyhistory .
Use a powerful retirement planning calculator at:
www.aarp.org/bulletin/yourmoney
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And,
finally, our question of the day:
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Wise Older Women!
®