Table of
Contents
Welcome
Women’s Wisdom
Topic for December
WOW! Forum
WOW! to WOW!
Upcoming Events
Web Sites of Interest
Closing Notes
*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*
Welcome:
Happy Holidays to all from the West Coast of Southern
California. Beautiful blue Pacific, green swaying palm
trees, white gulls flying by—ahh. I’m soaking it in, and
grateful to be here with three San Antonio friends.
I’m also grateful that
www.wiseolderwomen.com website is up and running again.
If you logged in and found what the domain site people call
a "parking page," I apologize. Not only was that parking
page offensive and insulting to women in general, the whole
experience was, for me, super frustrating. After five long
days, the problem is resolved. If you sent an email from
12/8 to 12/12, please resend because, when the website is
down, emails don’t come through.
There's
so much in this month's newsletter. Our thanks to Eleanor
Hayes, Betty Lambert, Juliet du Pontet, Shirley
Haight, Janice Holloway, Diane Massey, Pat Gordon and
Pat Ball. More gratitude goes to our eleven new
subscribers. Welcome to each of you. Please let us hear from
you, too, and often!
*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*
Women’s Wisdom:
“A woman is like a tea bag: You never know how strong she is
until she gets in hot water.”
Nancy Reagan, paraphrasing Eleanor Roosevelt
“Keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll keep getting what
you’re getting.
Bumper sticker
“You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re
willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like
being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you.”
Barbara Sher
“Wisdom is knowing what to do next.”
Saying on a card I bought recently
“Sometimes I sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits.”
From a poster in the 70’s
*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*
Topic for December:
Hot water—oh yes. I never plan to jump in, but gee, all too
often, I’m there. Can you relate?
2007 is a good example. I’m not going to spend much energy
looking back on it. Let me just say, the water was very hot.
The burns were at least 2nd degree. Some are healed, most of
the rest are healing, but some may never heal. Such is life.
Can’t remember when I learned difficult times bring gifts of
wisdom, but the beginning of knowing probably came from some
wonderful book. Since then, I’ve learned the gifts are more
fully realized when one is aware enough to watch for them
and open enough to accept them. The gifts and the wisdom of
my last year are coming my way; however, I want to milk this
cow for all it’s worth. Then I want all the cream that comes
to the top. You remember your mother saying, “Don’t shake
that milk bottle. Let it sit still. I want the cream to come
to the top.”
Like the milk bottle, I’m just sitting. I’m giving myself
the gift of a year to sit and realize any and all wisdom
that comes. It’s hard though. Are you like me? I can come up
with so many ways to shake myself up and get distracted from
what I meant to do. But not this year. I’m sitting it out. I
am waiting and watching for the cream, the gifts, that I
believe will magically appear. I’m saying no to new
opportunities. I’m adding nothing to my list. As a matter of
fact, I’m going to prioritize all of my to-do’s and see how
many I can drop from the bottom half of the list. I’m
figuring out what moves the stress to the barn with the cow
and leaves the cream with me. Don’t worry, I know some
things must be taken care of, so yes, I will do the wash,
write the WOW! Newsletter, go to work and clean the house
(occasionally, anyway).
I’m dreaming of the scrumptious cream that’s moving to the
top. In a year, when I reboot, I can only imagine the wisdom
of the gifts. If you are feeling envious, get a copy of Mira
Kirshenbaum’s book, Gift of a Year (Remember to go through
Amazon.com link on our website:
www.wiseolderwomen.com to order your copy.)
and see what ideas it brings to you.
*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*
WOW!
Forum:
From
Betty Lambert:
I am so sorry, I can't read the newsletter in pink. Am I
the only one?
Reply to Betty:
Thanks for letting me know you're getting a pink
newsletter. Have you tried clicking on the bar at the top?
Do me a favor--please. Will you go to the website and see if
it comes up pink there also.
Reply
from Betty:
The website is beautiful, so it is probably my own
system, especially if no one else had a problem.
Note from Nancy: If ever you have a problem
reading or receiving the newsletter, go to the
website and click on current (or archived) newsletter.
From Eleanor Hayes:
I enjoy the newsletter each month. I read every word and
always get a lift from doing so. Thanks for all you do.
From Juliet du Pontet:
I followed your re-settling adventures with great interest.
What an upheaval for you, and with a broken foot into the
bargain .. I hope Teddy and Bear are still your faithful
companions and that you can now laugh with them about it
all.
Thanks for your faithful newsletter which I read through
rather quickly - sorry if the scam thing is old hat.
Actually - I do need to be reminded not to trust people. The
other day, for instance, I let a total stranger into my flat
(to clean the chimneys) and ended up paying a huge amount,
having let him to do a smoke-test, totally unnecessary and
which doubled the bill, not that he'd bothered to warn me.
Then he found innumerable jobs he thought should be fixed by
him, including a so-called leak in the cistern. It was this
last scam which alerted me that he was dishonest and I'd
best get him out quick before he actually broke something on
purpose. Little old ladies are fair game for a lot of
unscrupulous neer-do-wells.
From Shirley Haight:
My beloved little brother (age 65) is from what I've
heard from them what know, the best fisherman in this part
of Texas, maybe even the world. I won't tell you his name,
because you may have heard of him and it would embarrass
him. Dear Husband and I were his and his wife's joyful
guests in their home right on Eagle Mountain Lake near Fort
Worth.
We had crappie right out of the Lake that very morning,
French fries, hush puppies, cole slaw (like Mama made),
hunting camp beans, and cookies for dessert. It was all
served on a beautiful table, set with West Virginia Fiesta
Ware, all served with sweet tea (like Mama used to make). I
did not get all I wanted, but I did get all I could hold and
brought leftovers home and ate them for breakfast the next
day!
Since this is the best Christmas present ever, I wanted to
tell you gals about it. Thanks for your indulgence.
DH (dear husband) and I are packing for a trip to Arizona,
where we may or may not stay two months. He has been packing
for weeks, but I have only just begun. Now he is worried
that I won't be ready by the time he wants to leave in the
morning. This lovely man is a nag, bonafide! There have been
times when he has closed my suitcase and put it in the car
and had to go get it because I wasn't finished packing. A
very efficient man whom I value, he takes the punches and
does whatever he wants to do. If he wants to put my suitcase
in the car, he does! Oh well.
We are taking our dog Pia (Pain In the Ass). She will tire
me more than my babies ever did, but after all, she is part
of the family and we won't need to send her to college! Not
much of an investment, but gives way more than some of our
children in kisses and unconditional love.
We don't celebrate the commercial aspect of Christmas any
longer—no gifts to anyone, even all those many grand kids.
Gave them savings bonds for years till we found two all
crumpled up in a drawer (I was in that drawer legitimately).
WE DECIDED NOT TO DO ANYMORE. Sad in a way, but we get over
it when the bills come in!
I'm thinking of my dear Mother and Dad this Christmas as
always. She never failed to put a dollar in every child's
and grandchild's and step grandchild's Christmas card and
after she no longer could do it, she had me or her
daughter-in-laws do it. I tried many years to be Mama, it
never did pan out! She was one of a kind.
Mom and Dad did many things to make us, as children, a happy
Christmas. They encouraged my brothers and I to go to the
woods for a pine Christmas tree, helped us make popcorn
strings and construction paper garlands and saved icicles
from year’s past.
One December John L. Lewis had the miners on strike for
months before Christmas. My brother needed shoes, we all
needed something and somehow Dad came up with the goods.
Mama told me many years later that he had burglarized the
company store and worried for years that someone would find
out. Merry Christmas, Mother and Daddy. Thank you for
allowing me to be in your family, however I have friends who
assure me that I chose you! Nice thought.
We will be in Brenda, Arizona at Christmas, surrounded my
new and old friend's rather than our family. We will miss
family and they us, hopefully, but here we are living life
on life's terms and trying not to scream and kick!
I have learned a lot this year for which I am grateful. I
try not to think about how it all could have been so
different. The cancer could have killed me.
*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*
WOW! Forum:
From
Janice Holloway
I
Wish You Enough..
Recently
I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments
together at the airport. They had announced the departure.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother
said, 'I love you and I wish you enough'.
The daughter replied, 'Mom, our life together has been more
than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you
enough, too, Mom'.
They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to
the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see
she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her
privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say
good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'.
Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is
this a forever good-bye?'.
'I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead
and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my
funeral,' she said.
'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you
enough'. May I ask what that means?'.
She began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down
from other generations. My parents used to say it to
everyone'. She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to
remember it in detail and she smiled even more. 'When we
said , 'I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person
to have a life filled with just enough good things to
sustain them'. Then turning toward me, she shared the
following as if she were reciting it from memory.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter
how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and
everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in
life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final
good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour
to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire
life to forget them.
* Only if you wish send this to the people you will never
forget. If you don't send it to anyone it may mean that you
are in such a hurry that you've forgotten your friends.
TAKE TIME TO LIVE....
To all
my friends and loved ones,
I WISH YOU ENOUGH!!!
*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~**~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*
WOW!
to WOW!
From Dianne Massey:
HANDBAGS...
I never gave it a thought. Who would have thought?
Have you ever noticed gals who sit their handbags on public
toilet floors – then go directly to their dining tables and
set it on the table? Happens a lot!
It's not always the 'restaurant food' that causes stomach
distress.
Sometimes 'what you don't know 'will' hurt you'! Read on...
Mum got so upset when guests came in the door and plopped
their handbags down on the counter where she was cooking or
setting up food. She always said that handbags are really
dirty, because of where they have been.
Smart Mum!!! It's something just about every woman carries
with them. While we may know what's inside our handbags, do
you have any idea what's on the outside? Shauna Lake put
handbags to the test - for bacteria - with surprising
results.
We decided to find out if handbags harbor a lot of bacteria.
We learned how to test them at Nelson Laboratories in Salt
Lake , and then we set out to test the average woman's
handbag.
Most women told us they didn't stop to think about what was
on the bottom of their handbag. Most said at home they
usually set their handbags on top of kitchen tables and
counters where food is prepared.
Most of the ladies we talked to told us they wouldn't be
surprised if their handbags were at least a little bit
dirty. It turns out handbags are so
surprisingly dirty, even the microbiologist who tested them
was shocked. Microbiologist Amy Karen of Nelson Labs says
nearly all of the handbags tested were not only high in
bacteria, but high in harmful kinds of bacteria. Pseudomonas
can cause eye infections, staphylococcus aurous can cause
serious skin infections, and salmonella and e-coli found on
the handbags could make people very sick.
In one sampling, four of five handbags tested positive for
salmonella, and that's not the worst of it. “There is fecal
contamination on the handbags,”
says Amy. Leather or vinyl handbags tended to be cleaner
than cloth handbags and lifestyle seemed to play a role.
People with kids tended to have dirtier handbags than those
without, with one exception. The handbag of one single woman
who frequented nightclubs had one of the worst
contaminations of all. “Some type of feces, or possibly
vomit” says Amy.
So the moral of this story - your handbag won't kill you,
but it does have the potential to make you very sick if you
keep it on places where you eat.
Use hooks to hang your handbag at home and in toilets, and
don't put it on your desk, a restaurant table, or on your
kitchen countertop.
Experts say you should think of your handbag the same way
you would a pair of shoes. If you think about putting
a pair of shoes onto your countertops,
that's the same thing you're doing when you put your handbag
on the countertops - your handbag has gone where individuals
before you have sneezed, coughed, spat, urinated, emptied
bowels, etc! Do you really want to bring that home with you?
From Pat Gordon:
Lessons in Life By Regina Brett
To
celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life
taught me.
It is the most requested column I've ever written. My
odometer rolls over
to 50 this week, so here's an update:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else
does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree
to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than
crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. God can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first
paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the
present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others! You have no
idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be
in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But
don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy
living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But
the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life,
don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy
lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion.
Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear
purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In
five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone, everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends will stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of
anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it
memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting
everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone
else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it
now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or
joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you
need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
From
Pat Ball:
I was aware that female heart attacks are different, but
this is the best description I've ever read.
Women and heart attacks (Myocardial infarction). Did you
know that women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms that
men have when
experiencing heart attack...you know, the sudden stabbing
pain in the chest, the cold sweat, grabbing the chest &
dropping to the floor that we
see in the movies. Here is the story of one woman's
experience with a heart attack.
"I had a completely unexpected heart attack at about 10:30
pm with NO prior exertion, NO prior emotional trauma that
one would suspect might've brought it on. I was sitting all
snugly and warm on a cold evening, my purring cat in my lap,
reading an interesting story my friend had sent, and
actually thinking, "A-A-h, this is the life, all cozy and
warm in my soft, cushy Lazy Boy with my feet propped up." A
moment later, I felt that awful sensation of indigestion,
when you've been in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich
and washed it down with a dash of water, and that hurried
bite seems to feel like you've swallowed a golf ball
going down the esophagus in slow motion and it is most
uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn't have gulped it down
so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly and this time
drink a glass of water to hasten its progress down to the
stomach. This was my initial sensation---the only trouble
was that I hadn't taken a bite of anything since about 5:00
PM.
"After that seemed to subside, the next sensation was like
little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up
my SPINE (hind-sight, it was probably my aorta spasming),
gaining speed as they continued racing up and under my
sternum (breast bone, where one presses rhythmically
when administering CPR). This fascinating process continued
on into my throat and branched out into both jaws.
"AHA!! Now I stopped puzzling about what was happening--we
all have read and/or heard about pain in the jaws being one
of the signals of an MI
happening, haven't we? I said aloud to myself and the
cat, "Dear God, I think I'm having a heart attack!" I
lowered the foot rest, dumping the
cat from my lap, started to take a step and fell on the
floor instead. I thought to myself "If this is a heart
attack, I shouldn't be walking into the next room where the
phone is or anywhere else.......but, on the other hand, if I
don't, nobody will know that I need help, and if I wait
any longer I may not be able to get up."
"I pulled myself up with the arms of the chair, walked
slowly into the next room and dialed the Paramedics... I
told her I thought I was having a
heart attack due to the pressure building under the sternum
and radiating into my jaws. I didn't feel hysterical or
afraid, just stating the facts. She said she was sending the
Paramedics over immediately, asked if the front door was
near to me, and if so, to unbolt the door and then lie down
on the floor where they could see me when they came in.
"I then laid down on the floor as instructed and lost
consciousness. I don't remember the medics coming in, their
examination, lifting me onto a gurney or getting me into
their ambulance, or hearing the call they made to St. Jude
ER on the way, but I did briefly awaken when we arrived and
saw that the cardiologist was already there in his surgical
blues and cap, helping the medics pull my stretcher out of
the ambulance. He was bending over me asking questions
(probably something like "Have you taken any medications?")
but I couldn't make my mind interpret what he was saying, or
form an answer, and nodded off again, not waking up until
the cardiologist and partner had already threaded the teeny
angiogram balloon up my femoral artery into the aorta and
into my heart where they installed 2 side by side stints to
hold open my right coronary artery.
"I know it sounds like all my thinking and actions at home
must have taken at least 20-30 minutes before calling the
Paramedics, but actually it took perhaps 4-5 minutes before
the call, and both the fire station and St. Jude are only
minutes away from my home, and the cardiologist was already
to go to the OR in his scrubs and get going on restarting my
heart (which had stopped somewhere between my arrival and
the procedure) and installing the stints
"Why have I written all of this to you with so much detail?
Because I want all of you who are so important in my life to
know what I learned first hand."
1. Be aware that something very different is
happening in your body not the usual men's symptoms, but
inexplicable things happening (until my sternum and jaws got
into the act). It is said that many more women than men die
of their first (and last) MI because they didn't know they
were having one, and commonly mistake it as indigestion,
take some Maalox or other anti-heartburn preparation, and go
to bed, hoping they'll feel better in the morning when they
wake up....which doesn't happen. My female friends, your
symptoms might not be exactly like mine, so I advise you
to call the Paramedics if ANYTHING is unpleasantly happening
that you've not felt before. It is better to have a "false
alarm" visitation than to risk your life guessing what it
might be!
2. Note that I said "Call the Paramedics".
Ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! Do NOT try to drive yourself
to the ER--you're a hazard to others on the road and so is
your panicked husband who will be speeding and looking
anxiously at what's happening with you instead of the road.
Do NOT call your doctor--he doesn't know where you live and
if it's at night you won't reach him anyway, and if it's
daytime, his assistants (or answering service) will tell you
to call the Paramedics. He doesn't carry the equipment in
his car that you need to be saved! The Paramedics
do, principally OXYGEN that you need ASAP. Your Dr. will be
notified later.
3. Don't assume it couldn't be a heart attack
because you have a normal cholesterol count. Research has
discovered that a cholesterol elevated reading is rarely the
cause of an MI (unless it's unbelievably high and/or
accompanied by high blood pressure.) MI's are usually
caused by long-term stress and inflammation in the body,
which dumps all sorts of deadly hormones into your system to
sludge things up in there. Pain in the jaw can wake you from
a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we
know, the better chance we could survive...
*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*
Upcoming
Events:
NCL’s
Spirit February 24, 2008 for a week of fun and sun. We
depart New Orleans at 5:30 pm, spend
February 25, 2008 At Sea
February 26, 2008 Costa Maya 8:00 am 6:00 pm
February 27, 2008 Santo Tomas de Castilla 8:00 am 6:00 pm
February 28, 2008 Belize City, Belize 8:00 am 6:00 pm
February 29, 2008 Cozumel 8:00 am 5:00 pm
March 1, 2008 At Sea
March 2, 2008 arrive back in New Orleans 8:00 am
Sounds like fun, doesn't it?
Hope you're coming with us!
*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*
WEB SITES
OF INTEREST:
WOW! Wise Older Women! website: Subscribe to this
newsletter and view archives of previous ones:
http://www.wiseolderwomen.com
Family health history can help save lives. For more
information, go to
www.hhs.gov/familyhistory .
Use a powerful retirement planning calculator at:
www.aarp.org/bulletin/yourmoney
*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*
Wise Older Women!
®